Perfectionism
Do You Ever...?
Do you ever avoid starting a project because you’re scared it won’t be good enough? Or spend so long trying to make something perfect that you run out of time and feel like you failed anyway? That’s perfectionism—and it’s common in people with ADHD.
What is it?
Perfectionism is the belief that:
- Only perfect is okay.
- Mistakes are dangerous or embarrassing.
- “Good enough” is not enough.
Why does this happen?
Kids and teens with ADHD may hear a lot of corrections and criticism. Over time, the brain may think:
“If I’m perfect, no one can be mad,” or “If I never finish, they can’t judge me.”
What can I do?
Aim for “good enough.”
Decide ahead of time what “finished” looks like and stick to it (for example: one page, checked once).
Use drafts.
First draft: messy on purpose. Second draft: clean it up. Your first try doesn’t have to be perfect; it just has to exist.
Set time limits.
Choose a time to stop working on something and move on.
Celebrate effort and progress.
Notice when you tried something new, started on time, or finished on time, even if it wasn’t perfect.
Bite sized pieces
If you know something is going to take a long time to complete, just do what you can in the time you have and keep working at it!
Fun Fact!
A surprising fact about ADHD and perfectionism is that while people with ADHD may not have higher standards than others, they tend to judge themselves far more harshly for falling short of even low standards.
